Rudeness Revisited

I know I talked about it earlier, and I didn’t mean it just relevant to me. I hear all the time from friends who work at customer service how people just snap at them and demand the most unreasonable things. I see it on TV, how people are so disrespectful. I see it in real life as well, at stores, banks, etc…some person chewing out a poor employee. So I wasn’t just referring to what happened to me, but as a whole…what is going on?

I was watching Dr. Phil the other day, which I don’t do often–I’m not home at that time. I remember watching him before, on Oprah on Tuesdays, but not really since he had his own show. I caught it the other day and he happened to talk about … how angry people are. He showed someone snapping at a drive-thru employee. I thought–see, that’s what I’m talking about! But then when you hear about the source of the anger, how it could be a molestation earlier in life, or a harsh judgement of parents over your shoulder…all I can think about is wow, what happened in these people’s lives that caused them to be the vicious, nasty people they are now? Were they all molested? Do they have the harsh judgement of their parents looking over their shoulders? Were they mistreated racially, and now taking it out on everyone else? Or maybe it’s guilt?

I know I’ve heard it before–people only put you down to make themselves feel more superior, because in actuality, they are inferior…but I never believed it for me. I thought I was the inferior one, the inadequate one. But as he dug down to find the source of each guest’s anger, I began to think…hmmm…exactly what is going on in their lives to have these incredibly high standards that is hard to live up to, so they get to belittle you when you can’t? Where is all that anger coming from? You know who I feel sorry for the most??? The kids in the household. My goodness. They’re going to grow up with that hostility…and probably pass it along. I already have one, where everytime I tried to praise the child, the parent would snap at me. He should be doing better, I was told haughtily. How is that child supposed to grow up?!?!??! He’ll never feel successful. I feel so bad for the children. 😦

It’s also weird how they all end up in the same community. I never had problems like this in my last school, but they are two very different communities from different social brackets. Does it mean to be “successful” in order to afford to live in one community…you need to be stressed enough in your life, that you are so nasty? That those who are not so “successful” (and I’m talking financially here, I actually consider it more successful to grow up in a happy household) really have no cares in the world? I don’t think it is so…but wow. Weird.

How can we stop the cycle of harshness? I’m already burnt out by all the criticism. I can’t even fathom having to work 20 years from now with the children of children in this generation…how will they, as parents, be? Probably just as harsh, or worse, because that’s all they know. I shudder to think of working then. I really need another career…if I can’t live up to expectations now…how will I in the years to come?

Unless we make everyone go on the Dr. Phil show… :bbbb


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