Archive for September 12, 2005

One of Those Days…

My gosh, ever have one of those days?

Well, yeah, stupid question, everyone does.

I knew it, too. So I wonder if in part I kinda jinxed myself? You know how you’re so consumed with that thought that you just can’t do anything *but* what you’re hoping not to do?

It all started off early this morning. Of course, it’s a Monday. Mondays are always filled with dread, having to go back to work after a hectic weekend. You feel like you didn’t get to rest at all! Anyway, I woke up to my alarm, and promptly pressed “SLEEP.” I did that 3 times (each 9 minutes apart) before I finally dragged my lazy butt out of bed.

I stumbled to the kitchen to make my lunch for the day. I felt a soft “lump” at the edge of my foot after taking a step, and saw something scuttle away. Eww! It was a lizard. Had I stepped on it? I couldn’t see anything else that could’ve been that soft lump. And it was only the edge of my foot, not like I stomped right on it. I thought maybe I just grazed it or something. It had ran off and disappeared behind a box, so I assumed that it was alright. I went on to make my lunch.

I then went to the parlor to put my lunch in my bag and turned back to go to my room to change. There, right in the middle of the hallway, a lizard crawled, out from behind a box. Oh my gosh! There was something red sticking out of its head. I wasn’t sure if it was its mouth open, or a tongue sticking out? I froze as it flopped right in the middle of the hallway, dramatically dying right before my eyes. UGH! Obviously, this was the one I “stepped” on, and I had obviously hurt it. I don’t know whether I broke its jaw…and its mouth was wide open like that…or if that was his tongue…or what…I couldn’t really look at it…but the way it just stumbled out, flicked its head up and down limply and then just…expired right there in front of me… MAN! Why couldn’t it have done that behind the box? Why right in front of me, and so dramatically? I felt like I was watching an overdramatic actor doing a death scene, the way it staggered and flopped its head around, that red thing flashing here and there. Then it went still. All while I watched. My heart broke.

I stepped around it to get to my room so I could change my clothes. All I could see in my mind was its staggering to the overdramatic death. Over and over again. I got ready and out of the house…trying not to look at it as I passed, but can’t help but peeking to see, yup, it was no longer moving. (I still can’t look at it to see what the heck that red thing was.)

So now I’m heartbroken while I’m driving. I killed a lizard. It’s not like a measly little bug which I can swat at easily. A lizard has a heart and brains and guts and blood and … man. It affected me. I knew it was going to haunt me and it was going to be a terrible day. I wondered if it was an omen. The mo’o, afterall, is an ‘aumakua of my dad’s side…and I just killed one…

The day started off okay. I actually got to work a bit early today, when the past few days I’ve been cutting it close. It gave me time to go through all I had planned for today. But little lizard was still on my mind.

Then it began. I got a call that I’ll be getting a new student today. Great, I thought. Now I’m up to 26. Cut off is supposed to be at 20! I have no extra desks, no mailbox space (mine only goes up to 25) … and I had tons of stuff to prep for the child. But I go ahead prepping anyway. Have to, what else can you do?

My class is very helpful, and the kids were happy to hear we will have a new student. We waited but the child didn’t show up. So we went on to morning business.

About 20 minutes later, I hear a commotion outside…so I go and find out it’s my new student, screaming and throwing a tantrum outside because he did not want to come in class. His mother was trying to push him in the classroom so I took him, and he shoved me away, and ran out, crying. I had to grab him and bring him back in. His mom asked if it was okay for her to leave, and I told her, yes, leave, I got him, he’ll be fine. As he’s kicking me and fighting me to go back to his mom. So she left, and the boy slipped out of my arms and ran, so I grabbed him by the backpack, afraid to hurt him. He shoved me away and ran, so I grabbed his shirt. I realized his mom was still standing outside, even though I told her to leave. So I let him go, and he ran to his mom, crying and throwing himself down and I’m all out of breath, with the rest of my kids staring. No amount of talking with this kid would get him in the class, so his mom said she’ll sit down with him in class. So he came in, and of course, she tells him to color and he calms down in about 15 minutes and colors and then his mom leaves. But the boy refuses to listen to me. Will not put away his crayons, so of course, the other kids are like, why can’t we color too? I call him over, he ignores me. I talk to him, he deliberately looks away. GREAT, I thought. Just great.

So all morning was a struggle with him. Refused to even look at me. Refused to do any work, but color. Ignored every single thing I asked of him. We walked to lunch, and he started picking up rocks and slinging them at other kids. So I yell at him and pull him aside, and he refuses to acknowlege anything I tell him. I had to bend down and literally get right in front of his face to tell him to stop throwing rocks. He rolls his eyes at me and looks away, with a smirk on his face. Oooo, a defiant one. Terrific.

In the afternoon, it was the same thing. Totally ignored me, though now he was vocal, swearing and taunting the other children. I began to develop a throbbing headache.

After school, I went to pick up my own son. Of course, I’m blocked in. It’s just that kind of day. I have to wait 15 minutes for someone to mosey on back to their car, giving me the stink eye for making them move the car, when they had the nerve to double-park behind me, when there were other open spaces. I hate that.

So already late, I’m off to my son’s school to pick him up…and there’s an accident. I think. LOTS of traffic. Finally we move, and I’m able to go and pick up my worried son, wondering why I’m so late.

Then of course, my car acts up. Starts up and dies. Again and again. Finally, it gets going. Only today, I thought.

I told my son we deserved an ice cream or some treat since it was so hot. We went to McDonalds. They are out. I look through my coupons and find something else to order. I get to the window and give my coupon. They don’t know how to handle it. Cars are starting to beep their horns as I wait at that first window for them to figure out how to put the coupon into the register. I’m so ashamed.

I finally get my change and then on to the 2nd window to get the food. My headache is full-blown at this time, and I think, okay I have to cool down, so I started to reach for my shake. No straw. sigh.

I take off the cover of the shake so I can sip it. Of course you know what happens next. Some fool drives through the intersection against the red and right into the path of me, who has a green light. I swerve…and that’s right, chocolate shake all over me and the car and the window…

The fool driving through the intersection has the nerve to yell at me before driving off, laughing.

I get home. I get out of my car…and cannot find the $10 bill of the $13 change I got back, which I put on the seat next to me as I drove away…I found the $3 just fine…but no $10! And I know I saw the $10 when she handed it to me. Where did it go? I searched the whole car…it totally disappeared. *grumble*

So I get home. Only to be greeted by that dead lizard still in the hallway. I don’t know how it’s going to get moved because I cannot even bear to look at it. I step around it, change out of my chocolate-shake-stained dress, and take a shower, of course, stubbing my toe on the scale and bonking my head on the shower head. sigh

Now I’m in bed, hopefully “safe.” I hope tomorrow is better. I already have asked the counselors to be at the classroom tomorrow so they can help me in case that kid throws another tantrum. I just hope it’s not all downhill from here! As I snuggle into bed, I try to think happy thoughts for tomorrow.

All to the tune of a lizard, vocalizing, somewhere in my room. Mourning for his lost family member? Or laughing at me, his revenge carried out? Who knows. His clicks repeat though, echoing throughout the quiet night, reminding me, every note piercing through to my heart. Click…click…click…