Archive for February, 2006


trying desperately to think of a song to describe my mood, but i cannot…

i just don’t know what to do any more, and i hate feeling like that. i like to think that i have some control over my life but lately i feel like i have none at all. i don’t know what’s happening and i don’t know how to fix it.

i know it’ll take more soulsearching, but the thing is, i don’t have much more time. i have to make up my mind soon, but i’m so indecisive! augh!

well, we’ll see what happens.
… continue reading this entry.


Oh no, not me

I don’t give a damn ’bout my reputation
You’re living in the past it’s a new generation
A girl can do what she wants to do and that’s
What I’m gonna do
An’ I don’t give a damn ’bout my bad reputation
Oh no not me

That song has been playing in my mind for a while now because of the reputation thread at HawaiiThreads. It’s been going on a while with lots and lots of whining and complaining about getting a negative…bad…reputation.

And frankly, I don’t know why these people are whining and complaining? There are no consequences for having a negative reputation right now. It’s not like your posting privledge is going to be taken away. You’re not going to be censored or anything. The only thing it’ll probably affect is the poster’s own ability to give out approval or not (resulting in the “gray” square). But it just means your approval (or disapproval) does not “count” as much as a “pillar of the community”…which is nothing, anyway. But yet you see it every once in a while, oh boo hoo, someone gave me a red! Why oh why?

Now I admit, I’m thin-skinned as well…read most of my blog and you could see that easily. But I don’t get why it offends so many people? It’s not a label you wear out in public? It’s not like you walk around the streets and people see you and go, aiya, that’s the one with a 52 rep. Outside of HawaiiThreads, it really doesn’t matter. Like LikaNui said…why would that bother you so much that you refrain from posting…when all that really matters is that outside HawaiiThreads, you still have people who love you and care for you. Oh, someone gave me a red square. But at the end of the day, I still have my family. I still have my friends, off the computer. Why would I care that someone out there disagrees with me? I’ll never see that person again, and if I do, I won’t know that it is him. We are all still pretty much anonymous on the internet.

People have said that the only ones who are for it are those that already have tons of rep and don’t have to worry about their status. I do not have tons of rep. I have only one square, with a rep of around 50, I think. That’s all. I was actually one of the first who answered that poll in favor of the rep system. Since then, I’ve been reading with amusement at all these people who come there and whine about their red squares, demanding that the admin remove it. To me, that’s like tourists coming to visit here and demanding that we make the sun come out, because they can get rain at home. Who cares what the other half thinks? I don’t like it, so change it. This is the type of attitude that puts off most locals when newcomers act like that…yet they are acting the same way? To me, it’s not a “customer is always right” situation, so let’s all please the customers. We do not pay for this service. It is not AOL where you pay monthly so yes, you would expect them to change something you do not like (kinda like how I don’t think I could be at a private school, where I know parents will be in your face telling you how to run your class because after all, they’re paying for it…). This is just a place to kick back and discuss, on the admin’s own turf. I wouldn’t like it if I invited people to my home and half of them insisted…no, demanded that I change the setup of my living room because it makes them look bad, even though the other half are okay with it. My response would be that those who do not like it can leave then, and let us that do, remain.

And that’s what I wish others would do. Instead of whining and complaining and threatening to leave to a new Hawaii forum…just go ahead and do it! There are tons out there! Go and find a new one, instead of threatening to do so. I’m sure the admin doesn’t do this for publicity and surely does not get any money for it. So why make those threats? Just go. Then you won’t have to deal with the rep system at all! Nothing to complain about any more!

I, too, am anxiously awaiting responses that other posters have asked for. LikaNui asked why someone was so angry about it, when actually he is one of the top rep owners? No response yet. Helen, the one who started the whole thread, has asked what it means to be accountable, and how is the system abused? I’d like to know that too so I hope someone answers him. No one is complaining about the “accountability” of having a green anonymous square. If someone can calmly explain the whole abusing thing without throwing around the word “liberal” and “conspiracy” then, I’d like to hear it, and who knows, it may sway me. But as I think Kilinahe pointed out, some of those that are getting red squares are only getting them because of their tone. Calling everyone who disagrees with you an “f-ing flaming liberal” is not going to get others on your side. It just turns people off, before they even get to read all the thoughts and make the decision for themselves without being labelled and screeched at.

I myself do not post a lot at HawaiiThreads. I read it daily, but only post when I know the answer to someone’s question or I have a question myself. I do not like “Me, too.” posts, so I don’t want to add to the clutter of messages unless I think I have something that could help someone. I have used the rep system though, even though I mainly just give greens (actually, I think I just gave 2 reds, and that was to 2 guys who started f-you-ing everyone who didn’t agree with them). I have disagreed with a lot. But there’s a difference between just disagreeing with someone’s viewpoint…and being totally turned off because they said “well f you then.” Yes, way to be mature!

And sure, people can go around and “target” someone and just give them reds all the time. But it’s difficult to do that when you have to “spread some aloha” around first and give to 10 others before you can give to that same person again. If that does happen, I’d likely bet that it’s not because of your viewpoint that caused that person to target you, but because of how you presented it. You struck a nerve with them by calling them “ranting liberals” and now they want to pay you back. But if presented more logically (see Scrivener), without the name calling and paranoia, you wouldn’t be a target, I would assume. Just like how in normal life, you would avoid talking to someone who is sassy and snapping at anything you say and name-calling you, but you would sit and debate it out with a good friend who may have an opposing viewpoint, but is respectful enough to let you say your say if you listen to what he says. It’s not one-sided…it will be though if you act “ani-social” because then you’ll be talking to yourself, you’ll scare everyone else away.

Which is why I’m also favoring the anonymity of it. Can you imagine if you gave such a person a red for calling you out as an f-ing liberal and it has your name there? Do you think you’ll really feel safe? The way people snap at others and get so defensive…I’d be afraid. They say they want accountability, but yeah, what are they going to do with that information? Okay, Lia gave me a red, so everyone, let’s all give Lia a red. Possibly. But what frightens me more is, hey, I know where Lia works/lives/hangs out. Let’s go have a “talk” with her. And then end up with a couple of whacks. That’s what I’m afraid of. Not the whole reputation thing, or at least my reputation. But that I would feel like I could be hunted down and whacked. That compromises my safety. And of course, that’s being extreme. But look at how seriously some people are taking this! Who’s to say that won’t be the next step? They get so angry, but then don’t even look back at their own posting to see why. Instead, it’s “I’m perfect, and if you don’t agree with me, then you better watch out! After all, it’s your fault.”

And yes, it’s not perfect. Neither is life, yet we deal with all its imperfections. The rep system is so miniscule in comparison to drug problems, the war, bills, taxes, diseases…really. It’s no big deal. And if you really do not like it, you don’t have to participate, as many have stated. Ignore it, or go check out and other forums. No one is mandating you to be at HawaiiThreads. Save yourself the headache, and save those there the endless whining.

In the words of Joan Jett…

I don’t give a damn ’bout my reputation
Never said I wanted to improve my station
An’ I’m only doin’ good
When I’m havin’ fun
An’ I don’t have to please no one
An’ I don’t give a damn
‘Bout my bad reputation
Oh no, not me

I don’t give a damn
‘Bout my reputation
I’ve never been afraid of any deviation
An’ I don’t really care
If ya think I’m strange
I ain’t gonna change
An’ I’m never gonna care
‘Bout my bad reputation
Oh no, not me

An’ I don’t give a damn
‘Bout my reputation
The world’s in trouble
There’s no communication
An’ everyone can say
What they want to say
It never gets better anyway
So why should I care
‘Bout a bad reputation anyway
Oh no, not me

I don’t give a damn ’bout my bad reputation
You’re living in the past
It’s a new generation
An’ I only feel good
When I got no pain
An’ that’s how I’m gonna stay
An’ I don’t give a damn
‘Bout my bad reputation

Anyway…I support the admin, and I hope no one bullies him into changing his own turf to suit them. And I’d say that even if I disagreed with this…it’s his site and he makes the calls. Either I suck it up, or find somewhere else! Simple. Stick to your guns, admin.

Woohoo! Another song in my head…

Stick to your guns…ain’t nobody gonna hurt you baby…
You can go to war, but only if you have to…