why i have a difficult time making lists

or, the excuse list.

  1. topics. i have a hard time thinking of topics. i think the journal writing was easier in that i could just write whatever i wanted–things that didn’t make sense, long rants, carefully composed chronicles–it didn’t matter! the format was up to me, and i could choose whatever i felt like. now that i’m stuck to one type, you’d think it would be easier for me, but it’s in fact harder. what if i don’t feel like doing a list today?
  2. words. if you haven’t noticed, i am rambly. i can go on and on with my words. in my head, a list is a short little list of words, yet i have to go and explain each one with sentences, which is the opposite of a list, i think?
  3. items. i come up with things to write about but then figure out it only comes down to two or three different headings. to me, a list is not something with only 2 or 3 items. it has to be more. it just doesn’t seem full enough, and so i try to think of more things, but really, they’re just offshoots a previously-mentioned item and then i don’t have any more items! then it’s not a list! like see? this could go under topics #1 above. argh.
  4. flow. okay, i know that’s a purpose of a list, but i like things to flow from one paragraph to another. lists seems so choppy. i feel like i have to make transitional sentences even though i know it’s perfectly alright, given that this is a list.
  5. ignorance. i lack the talent of making good lists. therefore, i prefer not to do it.
  6. rebellion. knowing that i have to makes me not want to. yes, i am a terrible person.



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