Archive for December, 2008

mahalo

mahalo au i nā mea he nui. mahalo au i ke olakino o koʻu makuahine–ʻaʻole i maʻi loa i kēia makahiki a mamake au i ka hoʻomau ʻana o kēia olakino maikaʻi. mahalo au i kuʻu keiki–nui kona aloha a me kona kōkua iaʻu. mahalo au i ke kākoʻo o nā hoa a me ka ʻohana iaʻu. mahalo au i ka ʻohana, no ko lākou hoʻolohe iaʻu a me ka hoʻomaopopo i koʻu mau pilikia. mahalo au i nā mea i loaʻa iaʻu–ka hale, ke kaʻa, ka hana nō hoʻi (ʻae, pūʻiwa loa! akā pololei ia). mahalo au i ka poʻe ma nablopomo no kēia mau kumuhana hoihoi no ke kākau ʻana–ua aʻo nui au i nā ʻōlelo like ʻole i ka mahalo ʻana aku. hoihoi nō!!! a mahalo, e nā mea heluhelu, no ka heluhelu ʻana a me ko ʻoukou mau huaʻōlelo hoʻopaipai.

hauʻoli makahiki hou, a he makahiki maikaʻi iā ʻoukou pākahi.

mahalo.

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mam'noon

i was told that i don’t put the effort into things when i think no one cares. if i know someone is going to be on me to keep me focused in finishing my goals, i do my best. this is true, and probably why i was such a good student. i always did all my work because i knew that’s what my teachers expected. and i did it well, because i knew it was for something. there was a purpose.

but when i think no one’s keeping tabs on me? no one cares? no one is going to listen? my drive to do things goes out the window. why even bother? i know that’s a bad attitude to have. i don’t know why i lack motivation if i think no one cares. is this why i make sure the kids know i care? to give them a reason to strive hard to reach for the stars?

my attitude needs a major change, that’s true. i can’t help but think, though: why write, if no one will read? why ask, if no one will answer? why answer, if no one will listen? why do one thing, when no one else seems to give you a second thought? why do something if it’s not going to make a difference?

mam’noon am for giving me something to think about.

salamat po

ack! got distracted and forgot the time.
salamat po. you know why. 🙂

juspajaraña

i’ve got to stop researching things on the internet. they bring me down. i must be the world’s worst hypochondriac (or is it the world’s best?). i feel something weird, go and research it, and then, all of a sudden, i’ve got it! and i feel so down after that that i don’t want to get out of bed. oh woe is me. 🙄

i had to kick myself out of bed today and i got a lot done. but i do know that i’ll have to get this checked out, just to have peace of mind, or i’ll go and worry all week about it, and that’s no way to spend a vacation! 😀 i already have a therapist appt on tuesday (scary!) so i’ll try and see if i can schedule for the same day or maybe even tomorrow, if they’ll take me. i swear, i’m the dr’s worse nightmare! 😀

juspajaraña to those who keep my mind off these things 😀 it’s really appreciated.

teşekkür ederim

guess i should do this now while there’s power in case it goes out again later. it’s already come back on 3 times, but only for 5-15 minutes before shutting off again. so i better hurry with this to get it in in this little window of time 🙂 also charging up the phone while the electricity is on as well.

i am totally dependent on electricity. how sad. i couldn’t even fall asleep because there’s no fan. i couldn’t pass the time away on the computer. i had my phone, but there was no service, so no internet that way. there’s all the apps i have on my phone but after playing a few, i thought, i better save the battery in case the power never comes back on.

well, i hear the fan starting to slow down again, so i think it might be another power off thingie so i should sign off. but at least i got something for today up 🙂 i was panicking and kicking myself for not posting something earlier yesterday!

. . . . . . . .

feeling a bit guilty as i’m reading everyone’s tweets about not having power yet. the power stayed on for good after i typed the above, at about 2:30am. we were lucky, especially since we were one of the last ones to lose power, as well, so i don’t think there’s much spoilage in the icebox and freezer. so, teşekkür ederim, for that! someone important must live around here! 😉

even with the power coming back on, i just couldn’t sleep, so i don’t think i did so until about 4ish…and woke up for good at 11 *sheepish* (was woken up at 530 by a txt from sister saying their power had just come back on, but went right back to sleep afterward). i then read all the tweets about how people still didn’t have power yet. yikes. we had power all this time (clock hadn’t reset since i had set it at 2:20) and i was just sleeping away. well, charging stuff, too. but you know what i really like? it is sooooooooo quiet outside. very quiet!

i’m still kinda iffy about using things with power (i say as i type this out on the laptop that’s plugged in!). i even turned off the fan, and am not sure about firing up the a.c. the only thing going on power right now is this laptop and the icebox. well, at least it’s not like my neighbors last night–practically all of them still had their christmas lights going full-blast and my upstairs neighbor was thumping out his music and no one seemed to care the rest of the island didn’t have power…until we lost it. 🙂 then we just had to deal with teenagers driving by in their cars and setting off fireworks every hour or so–loud, explosive bangs, followed by their hoots, and then driving off, then by various neighbors’ voices shouting expletives at them, all the way until 4am. but yeah, even with the power on now, i hear no cars outside, i hear no kids playing, i hear no music thumping from upstairs. it’s nice and peaceful and serene.

i wonder how long it will last.

kili so

I know who I would like to NOT thank, a certain network that keeps switching between “no service” and slow edge especially since this is the only thing I have not connected to an electrical outlet (for now). but I am trying to be positive.

tomorrow.

kili so to those who are trying.

ko rabwa

mele kalikimaka!

spent most of the day in bed. don’t know if it’s depression or sickness. i just don’t feel right.

ah, but there are different things to worry about. ko rabwa for the holiday season. ko rabwa for family.

efharistoomay

a big efharistoomay to salome who was really very quick at the safeway deli today. usually it takes at least 20 minutes to get your order, but man, she was just whipping ’em out today. and there were lots of people, too, so no one walked away from waiting too long, as is often the case when i am there. salome should get a big raise 🙂 really the fastest worker i’ve seen in that deli. AND she got the orders (including another build-your-own sandwich, even though i vowed never again…) right!!!!!! yay, salome!!! 😀

谢谢

went to work for a little while today then i thought i’d drive out to my son’s old babysitter to drop off gifts for them. i wanted to wait to the last possible moment and surprise them because i didn’t want them to feel like they had to get anything for us. i just wanted to give something to thank her for always watching my son, sometimes on short notice. my son can be an annoying know-it-all and somewhere he picked up a portuguese gene yet she’s always quick to say that yes, she’ll watch him. i know she’s like a second mom to him as she’s the one who raised him while i was at work. and when we were going to leave that year, she cried and i felt like darn cps taking away a child. i felt so bad. yet there were no hard feelings later when i decided to come back and she took him back eagerly. she took him to preschool when he didn’t get extended care, and she picked him up from there, too, when he got out early on wednesdays. i am just so thankful to have found her, because i know she’s a big part in shaping my son’s personality (not the annoying part, but the loving part 🙂 ). 谢谢, aunty. i really cannot say that enough. 🙂

malo

another dr’s appt today, and this time with a specialist, so i was a bit nervous. what new ailment would they find this time? but you know what? the rn at the office was soooo funny that i soon forgot my nervousness. she made me laugh so much. she said she thought i was a lawyer, but when i told her i was a teacher, she said “oh that’s way better than a lawyer!” then when she found out what grade i taught she cooed and praised me for working with “the babies” and teaching them their native language. she then made absolutely sure that everyone else treated me well! she really put me at ease, and at the same time, she made me proud of what i do, even though she has never seen me teach and probably would not have the same words if it were *her* kids in my class 😉 but i left there feeling soooo nice. and then, because i had to get some extra tests and labwork done, she actually took the time out to *write* the instructions of where to go (most people are like “take a left, left, then right, then left past the kiosk, then left, then …” while meanwhile i’m trying desperately to visualize it all in my mind) and when i did show up there, the people *there* treated me so nicely, too! it kinda made me nervous, actually, because i was wondering, why are all these people treating me so nicely? am i about to die?!?! ahhh…what the world has come to, when someone doing something nice makes me think i’m dying. but with the rudeness and gruffiness of people and workers i’ve encountered these past few weeks?!? that’s honestly what i thought. even the technicians who ran the tests were sooo nice, and chatty. they really made sure i was taken care of, and made sure i had enough validation and made sure i knew what was going on. i felt special. and i’ve read in the past few weeks in my twitterstream about how people at this hospital were *not* friendly, so that made me feel even more special that these people were friendly to me! heeheehee. maybe they were just happy it’s almost christmas, and i can understand that. i’m sure i was very pleasant the last few days before break 😀

anyway, malo to neesi who just really started off the afternoon on a great note, making me crack up throughout her checking me in, and really boosting my confidence a bit. i really needed to hear that! really. malo ho’omou tokoni! and have a happy holiday season 🙂

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