I’m starting to realize how annoying I can be. My sisters and I used to communicate a lot through txt msgs. But lately I’ve been noticing my txts have been going unanswered. They both have unlimited txts so it’s not that. They just don’t feel the need to respond to anything I say. The same with my niece. I have txted her 2 or 3 times in the past year to ask questions that she would know the answer to, yet she never answered them. Okay, she’s not into txting, I thought. Then when talking with my sister, I found out she and our niece have been txting back and forth a lot daily. I was shocked. Again, the same for colleagues. I’ll email a question or request and nobody responds. Yet other people get responses all the time. It’s not like I don’t respond to theirs, either; I always make it a point to respond, even if I don’t know the answer, that’s what I say to them. But it’s not the case when I ask the question. I understand people are too busy to take the time out to respond to every little thing. But then I see them do it to other people and I feel like…wow. You know? I took the time to help them and no one helps me? I don’t know. That’s probably what’s annoying. I expect too much in return. Or I don’t know when to stop. I don’t know. It just hurts a little when I send away a txt full of my feelings and thoughts, and it goes unanswered. I feel like I’m bothering or something. And it hurts when it’s people who you think will always be there for you, you know. The general public couldn’t care less about what I think, and I’m fine with that. But when it’s with people you work with, or worse even, your own *family* … to know I’m not worth a response kills me. Especially when before there was all that back and forth — why did it stop? What did I do? Why am I annoying them so? Do they just not care any more?
I think I should just go back to talking to myself. Hurts less that way.