implicate

i was perusing twittermoms and came across this blog post about complaining. i thought it was going to be one whole long complaint so i wanted to read it so i could roll my eyes. however, it was about not complaining. there were even a few suggestions:

Here are some tips to stop the whining:
Instead of complaining, focus your attention and energy on problem SOLVING, rather than problem creating. For example, instead of complaining how exhausted you are, try and get to bed earlier and stop piling too much on your plate. Instead of telling people how fat you feel, make the effort to fit the gym into your schedule.

Every time you’re about to speak and it feels likes a whine or complaint is about to come out, stop, and think again about what and how you’re going to say that thought. Think: is there any point to saying that? I mean really, why complain about something you have zero control over, like the weather?? It’s so futile. People like to be around POSITIVE people, not negative ones.

Learn how to speak less, and listen more. God gave us two ears and one mouth! Get the hint? And the words you do speak today, test yourself and tell yourself, I will try and not complain for the next week and see how I feel. When you actually rid those negative words from your mouth, you’ll rid the negative energy from your body.

Think about the misfortunes that exist in our world. Think Haiti, child slavery, young children dying of cancer. It will put things in your own life into perspective. I wrote a blog post about being grateful. Be grateful for what you DO have.

Think about WHY you complain. Think about all the time you could be spending actually making your life better and becoming a woman of action. If the service is slow at a restaurant I’m in, my husband dies, but I get up, and grab the water and serve myself if I’m thirsty. If the kids need napkins at the diner, I get up and help myself. It’s too easy to complain that people are incompetent, and much harder to do something about it. Think personal responsibility. Think… do you want to give your power over to someone and deny responsibility, or allow responsibility into your life? It’s all a choice.

all good advice, and i like to think that about *other* people. for instance, seriously, why are you complaining about that? or what can *you* do about it, rather than just sitting there and complaining? i never really think that about myself! 😳 but actually, i have been trying to be better about not complaining about things. when i do, it’s mostly because i was asked to share my feelings, or i feel that the person would understand me, and i’m looking for answers. otherwise, i just don’t go about complaining about things. i do on my blog–a lot–but it’s really just for me, and not for others. i rarely ever do that face-to-face, unless, again, i am looking for a solution (like with colleagues) or i’m with people i feel comfortable with (like with family). i tend to keep all those things in. that thing about being ignored by the waiter? i actually think that’s kind of rude to get up and serve yourself, but i would just sit and wait patiently, and not grumble about it. maybe the server is busy? or perhaps they just forgot me? which is an easy thing to do. but there’s always a reason, and sometimes, it’s just not worth it. there *are* more pressing things in the world other than gosh, some people are such idiots!

anyway, the point i was making was that people complain a lot. i hear it all the time–in fact, i get a lot of it all the time. i so could never work in customer service, i swear! but anyway, i hear it a lot, and the things that run through my head as that person is complaining is not too nice–i don’t want others to think that about me, when i’m going off. so i really keep all that to myself (unless i write it here, but then again, it’s to myself anyway). i don’t know if it’s healthy or not, but i just don’t want to be that person who is complaining about the food being too salty or people moving too slowly or the sky being too blue or the air being too fresh. i want to say just relax, enjoy. stop being so stressed. and i can’t help but think, what’s going on in your life that makes you that way?

but can i take my own advice? i don’t know. sometimes it truly does feel better to let it all out! 😀 and have a sympathetic ear listening to it, rather than invisible friend sitting in the car with me. but i think even if i do let that all out to anyone willing to listen, i still need to take personal responsibility myself and not blame others but instead use it to turn myself around.

big words, i know.

hee. we’ll see how long that lasts.

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