i know i am gross. it’s no big deal. i’ve accepted it.

i also can see how much looks plays a big part in society. i’ve been passed over in favor of more attractive people. in fact, today i went to get keys cut at a store. i stopped an employee walking by to ask him if he could help out; he sniffed at me, “no. i have to go to lunch.” and walked right on by. now if i was attractive, you know he’d take the extra minute to go over to the intercom and page someone to come for me, while saying, “someone will be with you shortly,” before going on to lunch. but no. he wouldn’t help. i mean, whatever. he probably was very hungry, and it was 5:30pm, so if he still hadn’t had lunch by then, then… i just bet that if i had been more curvy or wearing something more provocative, i would’ve had help like *that*, even if he was rushing off to lunch.

people say looks don’t matter, but then you see something like susan boyle erupting all over the internet, and all the harsh comments people make about the way she looks, or even like, wow, she’s a surprise that she can sing so well. why? there’s another of a taiwanese boy, and while he has great vocals, what is the one thing people attack? his appearance. you hear of bully stories where people pick on the homely child. there are even facebook groups where people make fun of other peoples’ appearances. all the local news anchorwomen are all tiny, petite things, yet the men can be huge. i have colleagues who get out of speeding tickets all the time, but the one time i get pulled over, on the same stretch of highway, i get the big $200 fine. all my relationships have ended due to the other person leaving me for someone more attractive. let’s face it, attractive people have things comped, stuff bought for them, moved up to first class, and get great, attentive service, among other things. i have to look pitiful to get any attention, and most times, that just comes off as plain pathetic. 😛

alright, so how does one go about changing this? i could get plastic surgery. but no, why change what you were given? i just have to rely on my (nonexistent) personality and charm, i guess. win ’em over one at a time. 😉

which means i’ll be lonely forever. 😛


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