balance

people have told me that i have incredible patience. it’s a big help for my job. and it’s hard, as i get both ends–those that praise me for being so patient when they would’ve snapped, and those that criticize saying that i am too patient, if there is such a thing. oh, i will wait. the kids know that. but some people think i am too lenient or don’t know how to talk when i give a lot of wait time. i actually had a parent accuse me of making her look like a witch in comparison to me. and few and far between, there will be some that pat me on the shoulder and remark that they just don’t know how i do it.

however patient i may be at work, though–it does not translate over to my son! for some reason, i’m very hard on him. when he moves slowly or takes a while to think, i snap at him. i’m constantly pushing him. i’m tough on him.

why? i still can’t figure that out. i need to even out the balance a bit, and give my son some slack. but at the same time i want him to be a good person, you know? that’s a big goal for me–to mold him into a good person: someone respectful, kind, and helpful. that’s not unlike what i want for my students. yet i go about it so differently between the two. it’s maddening.

what is wrong with me?

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