i’ve entertained the idea of becoming a chef. just the thought of creating something so yummy out of things that are bland on their own is interesting. i have no idea of tastes or anything–i can’t tell what’s in what, like my sister can–but i just always thought it would be neat.

until i saw gordon ramsay’s shows. yikes. talk about high pressure! i remember seeing top chef every now and then and thought it was cool, but since i don’t have cable, i can’t watch it at home and can’t find it online. but on hulu, i can find kitchen nightmares and hell’s kitchen. wooooo. i don’t know what it is that draws me to gordon ramsay, because he swears a lot. but i guess it’s because what’s driving him is this incredible passion to feed and take care of people. he does it because he cares. he wants people to enjoy the food, and if you do something that may have been detrimental to someone–watch out! he will chew you out. but again, it’s because he cares for his customers. that’s the big difference you can see between him and some of the chefs on kitchen nightmare, who really, just do not care.

i’ve been told that i don’t care this year. i’ve been called many other names and accused of many other things, and nothing has stung as bad as that. so as i watch these shows, i try to see–is that what i look like? do i look like i have lost all my passion? has the fire gone from my eyes? am i just going through the motions?

i don’t know. i don’t feel as if i do, but maybe i *look* it. i’m not that energetic, enthusiastic, bubbly person that you usually picture, when you hear what my profession is. that doesn’t mean i don’t care–but compared to others, i guess it appears that way, just as i see other chefs when compared to gordon ramsay. what i think is different, though, is that they don’t change. i try hard to step out of my comfort zone. but it shows me that appearances do mean a lot. you can be doing the best job out there, but if no one sees you–or has someone else to compare you with, just by first-impressions, then really, your best does not matter, because they have already judged you. and that’s a hard thing to change.

okay, didn’t mean to go that far 🙂 the next thing on my list was just that i thought about being a chef, but after watching gordon ramsay shows, i know that i *definitely* don’t have what it takes to be one! gosh, i’d just crumble into a puddle of soft goo if i had to work under him! 😥 i wouldn’t be able to handle it. that’s why when i do see someone make it all the way to the end of hell’s kitchen, and earn gordon’s respect, i just love it. it’s heartwarming. it’s a good story. it keeps me drawn in and excited for a new season.

and if those allegations about affairs hadn’t popped up last year, he would seriously give mr craigy a run for his money.


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