instant?

one common thing that all three of us have is the hatred of talking on phones. i’m not sure why. it could be that my dad also hated talking on phones, so he often would make us call up places to ask when they close or if they have a certain item. it could also be that we’re just not verbal people. we didn’t really sit down as a family and just talk. we never sat down together at dinner and discussed our day, as you’d see on the television. we’d usually disappear into our own rooms, or just all eat at different times, since one person was at hula, and one was at ‘ukulele, and one was at a friend’s. my dad didn’t like to be bothered when he ate, nor did he when he was watching tv. my mom was always reading if she was not busy with housework. in cars, we’d just sing a lot the whole trip, or play our own types of ‘who said?’ type games, but that’s about it.

as we grew into teenagers, though, of course, we talked on the phone much more. we would get into big fights over time on the phone. they’d get mad at geeky me because i was always on the modem, causing friends that called to get the busy signal. but still, we hated when our dad asked us to call a certain place. bleah.

it has carried on to today. my job requires me to call a lot, and i HATE it. first, because they get so defensive, when all you’re doing is delivering a message. second, because i feel there’s so much more with facial expressions and stuff that you can read that you just can’t do on the phone. and third…i just am uncomfortable. i don’t like it. but it’s not something i can pass on to someone else to do–i have to do it myself. i will often ‘forget’ and then try to write a note the next day, but then i get in trouble for it. 😳 but, still, one of the many things i hate about my job.

the one thing i *do* like is texting. i never thought i would. i held off on it for so long. but now, all i do is text! i text colleagues, sisters, and friends. i even had to up my text package, which shocked me. but it made sense. i do communicate better with writing, so naturally, this is an easier way for me to communicate. i mean, sometimes i’d be in a discussion with people, and then hours after, i’ll email them again about it because it’s easier for me get out all the feelings i had than i could if i had to express myself verbally. i know it’s weird. maybe i don’t like having to respond right away, without thinking–i want time to think and to process my thoughts. maybe i want to make sure the other party hears my entire side without interrupting me, which they’ll have to, if they’re reading my writing. most likely, it’s just because i think i’m idiotic-sounding when i hem and haw while wondering what to say. we used to have to rehearse what we were going to say before we called for my dad, and i know that we still do this today–before we pick up the phone to have to call someone, we say aloud what we want to say. when they throw me for a loop by asking/saying something else, i get tongue-tied, and, of course, i look like an idiot. which i hate.

the only problem with the texting or ordering online rather than using the phone to call is that it’s not so instant. sometimes the response is, but sometimes, you’ll have to wait a while. especially when i’m at work–i have no time to be checking my phone and tweeting like others do–i’m busy. as soon as the first bell rings until the last, i focused in on my work, and i can’t be answering, so whoever texts me that during time will have to wait. and i know, too, that if i need an answer right away, it’s better that i call, otherwise it’s a wait from a minute to maybe an hour to even the next day. so it’s not so immediate–but it’s the best way i have right now to communicate clearly. which, again, makes me weird…but at least i’m not alone. 🙂

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