after spending a whoooooole day with my wonderful coworkers in a long meeting, i think i realize what it is that makes me irritated. it’s not that they know a lot or get great results–because they do, i can’t deny that–but it’s just that they think they are so f***in’ perfect. and people who know me know i never use that type of language, so you can tell how irritated i am. but i was trying to think what it was that was bothering me yesterday–and it came up again today. the boss was “scolding” us (“no one, yet everyone”) and as i looked around it was obvious that every little cluster felt bad. my cluster looked indignant. well, we had another meeting today, where the boss came to talk to us about yesterday’s talk. boss asked us what we thought about yesterday’s “scolding.” the one who irritates me the most spoke right up and said that she knew that it couldn’t possibly have been about us, because we are the most together team and we have no communication problems (boy did it take all the strength of hercules to NOT make my eyes roll at that time) and that we are all such a great team who knows how to work together blah blah blah…i totally had to bite my lip and again, keep the eyes from rolling, because of all people, she was the very one who never told me anything last year! but yet she thinks she is not to blame because she’s so perfect, and we’re all so great and rainbows and unicorns. the boss then cut her off by giving a VERY good example of how we do NOT communicate with everyone, and just within their little clique (which doesn’t include me and a couple of others), and i had to mentally high-five my boss. i mean, come on. have a little humility. that made me realize again (which the boss did reiterate) that everyone else in the room immediately thought it was them that the whole problem was about, while my group sat there thinking, “well, that’s everyone else, but not ME.” i guess that’s why they just rub me the wrong way. they don’t ever do anything wrong. seriously. whereas, i’m such the opposite (and like most of the other people i work with, who are not in my group), i automatically think it’s me! i think i’m the one that’s wrong, and i reflect and reflect and figure out how i’m going to get better and try EXTRA hard not to repeat that same mistake! but they don’t think they need change and if anyone suggests change, they get snapped at. and i think that that is the reason why i was feeling so uneasy yesterday. i knew it was something, but i didn’t know what it was. but after today’s meeting, i think i see it so much more clearly.
“pretty pretty please / dont you ever ever feel / like youre less than / less than perfect?”
except for me, it’s not a command, it’s a question! 😉