i was swallowing my pain

i don’t know why, but i got insanely jealous today over emails. whenever i send out emails, no one in the world answers me. i feel like i talk to myself (which is not all that different from real life). every week (practically everyday!), i send out emails, and i don’t get any responses.

well, today, two different people from my group sent out emails and everyone flocked to answer them!!!! what the …?!??!?! what am i doing that i don’t get that kind of response? i mean, the others were just responding and responding, even when they were *supposed* to be working (i was a good girl and did not check emails until lunch break, not every time my computer alerted me that i had a new email waiting). how can those two elicit such responses when i get dead silence?!??!?!?! man.

so what echoed throughout my head was “i was feeling insecure…i was swallowing my pain…i’m just a jealous guy…” i guess i am. 😦


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