more power

the people i work with are nuts. they have become drunk with power. they are forcing us to do ridiculous things, and it’s these things that make me refuse to be a part of them. i don’t know if it’s because i’m a rebel or what, but if you *force* me to do something, i’m not going to do it. rather, if you had just let me be, i’d have done it. but if you are going to push it upon me, i’m not going to look to you nicely at all. i didn’t go to our meeting this afternoon because of it. i don’t want to go to wednesday’s one, either. i just want them all to leave me alone.

the thing is, our leader last year did the exact same thing as this year’s one is doing, and yet last year, the would-be leader balked at the idea and refused to do it as well. but now she’s in power, and she’s doing the exact same thing!!! why?!??! is this what power does to you?

then she also said something kinda hurtful. she’s said a number of hurtful things, totally without meaning to, i think…or unless she was being passively aggressive…i don’t know…but she’s said a number of hurtful things the past month or so, and today’s one was about a person i really respect and trust. now to hear that this person is saying things about me behind my back really, really hurt. i don’t know. i was thinking maybe a change next year, but now i’m thinking a whole new different *place* next year. i don’t want to be here. they are driving me crazy. i just want to retreat and be left alone. please?

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