things have been kinda weird in the family. one person is kinda going through a hard time right now but is pretending that everything is okay to the family, so it’s obvious she doesn’t want us to know what’s going on. and none of us want to pry. instead we just give her a lot of space. and she’s never around anyway, she’s always with her friends. but it’s kinda spread over to the rest of the family. my mom is always over at my other sister’s house, and because her husband makes me uncomfortable, i rarely go over. so i never see my mom any more, because she’s never at her home. it’s weird at home, too…very, very awkward. i don’t know. now we aren’t even going to go the family’s for thanksgiving. it’s weird. i can feel us all going our separate ways, and for me being such a family person, it’s really hard. i used to think about maybe moving to another island, but i could have never left my mom but now i wonder…i don’t see her that much any more. would it matter if i was on another island? but at the same time i feel like i need to see my mom more. our time is very limited, and i don’t want to be filled with regrets. so it’s a weird balance. i don’t know. i kinda wish everything was back the way it was a few years ago. i was younger, more healthier, and our family was still together. everything is so different now, and not for the better. i hope things turn around soon.